Background:
Next month will be six months since I had my left ovary (now known as the Former Eva Ovary) and the ovarian cyst (Tommy Tumor) removed.

Last month, I had an appointment with my GP because I had a pretty nasty sinus infection and wanted some antibiotics. It had been the first time that I’ve seen her since July (which is right before the ovarian cyst was discovered and my life felt like it had gone to complete shit) and she asked me how I was doing. I bawled. Like, someone just ran over my puppy, then came over to my house, shat in the last bowl of oatmeal in the house and stirred. I had no idea why I was crying, but I was. And I was embarrassed as all get out because I don’t do that. I just…Don’t. Thankfully, the doc was cool and didn’t say anything about it, wrote me a script for some antibiotics and I went on my slightly-less-than-merry way.

I would like to say that this is the first time that I’ve had such a random experience since the surgery, but I can’t. August and September were the best months after the surgery (aside from the not being able to move/laugh/cough/etc. without taking pain meds). I didn’t really have any emotional issues immediately following the surgery (I don’t doubt that the pain meds helped with that), but-in the middle of October-it kinda hit me hard.

It seems like (since then), it barely takes anything for the tears to start. Things that would normally not affect me one way or another now have me running to the bathroom to dry my eyes. Just *mentioning* the surgery or the doctor visits in July have me crying (I had to take a few pauses from writing this post because I could feel myself start to tear up). It’s insane. I hate it. It doesn’t make any sense to me and it’s embarrassing to have to stop talking about something or doing something because I start to cry.

I can usually continue a few minutes with the conversation like everything is normal without tears starting to crop up before I have to change the subject. But I shouldn’t have to. I should be able to talk about stuff without having to worry about whether or not I’m going to start crying. It’s crazy and I hate it.

For clarification, I don’t feel depressed. I’m actually quite happy with how things currently are and where I seem to be heading in my life. I just randomly burst into tears for no apparent reason…